by Dawn Boykin

It is bad enough to have a hater that is a friend, co-worker, neighbor, acquaintance or even a stranger. But It is almost sickening to have hater that happen to be a part of your family tree, a blood family member or someone considered to be like family. To settle the confusion on being a hater, Let’s define the characteristics of A hater.

A Hater is someone who is not GENUINELY happy about ANYTHING good that happens in another persons life. A Hater will not see GOOD in any situation, will point out the negative aspects of ANY and EVERYTHING, and is one who has BAD intent for your present and NEGATIVE wishes for your future. Not only that, but a hater is happy to see you fail, suffering tragedy, misfortune and pain. A hater is often your biggest cheerleader, but deep down inside, a hater would like to see the worst case scenario become a reality. A hater is a miserable, unhappy person who compete with you on the dumbest things that make no sense. (Like who got their driving permit first). Not rationalizing that the event happened 20 years ago and is nothing to boast over, because the both of you have had a driving license for an equal amount of time. This often causes confusion, because when you WIN (in theie eyes) they are TERRIFIED and they express their anger outwardly without knowing it. To The Hater, EVERYTHING that you are involved in, it is often made to look simple or trivial. This is executed casually by playing things down, or by telling you about someone that they know who have already succeeded at what you are doing, or someone who failed alike. The Hater may change the subject or ask you, unwittingly, ARE YOU SERIOUSLYDOING THAT?  As if you’d told them you are committing some crime. Followed with their disgust or disinterest, no matter how amazing or “once in a lifetime” type of experience it is. On the other hand, a standing novation is required for such simple accomplishments such as them stopping for a pedestrian. (After all, you are supposed to do that, right?) Yet they have never done it, don’t aspire to do it, never considered doing it and may not have the capacity to do it if they really wanted to! But they wont stop there, they are  emotionally attached to their next bout with you and will have a competitive stance in their actions and interactions. So much so that they become tense, uneasy, and a distraction to you and themselves.

The majority of my family members are HATERS. Although it is an unfortunate reality, I am comfortable with the truth about the matter, but they are not. They whisper and talk about EVERYBODY and I mean EVERYBODY. It doesn’t matter if the person is standing across the room or sitting next to them, nobody is off limits when it comes to a BASHING session. Often times having  bold and unyielding opinions, and unmoved about the information getting back to the other party, weather there or not. Who cares. If confronted, they’ll just shockingly deny it ( infuriated in disbelief) or flip the story on the other person who gave them up. Then they will have a paw wow, talking about  the other person together! Clever huh?

Denial is very prevalent among my family of haters. They will never admit to their wrong doings or shortcomings. Instead, they bash other family members and outsiders to feel good about their own pathetic situations. They believe that nobody can see that they forgot to throw out their own trash bags. Not knowing that you can’t hide behind what your character says about the nature of your soul. I CAN SEE your trash overflowing! And so can everyone else!

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